This whole year for me has felt like a “time of trouble.” There hasn’t been a moment where I’ve felt I could remotely be sustained by yesterday’s revelation. Every day, in every moment of that day, I’ve had to depend on Papa for the very strength to even breathe.
There’s power in the word daily. Sometimes we focus on the next day, when there isn’t grace for tomorrow. Tomorrow’s portion isn’t even here yet. It’s why God gave the Israelites mana every day. They were forced to depend on Him in the present, not the future. In times of trouble, thinking about tomorrow is too overwhelming. It’s what separates the really mature believers– the ones who go down low, recognize their utter brokenness and weakness without Him.
This verse says a daily portion for those in times of trouble is a Father’s help and deliverance from evil. Who doesn’t want their Daddy to show up when they need Him? Mom’s are really important and their love fills a place in our heart that is so necessary. But when something is really wrong, you just want your Daddy to show up, hold you, and fix it.
I’m learning the holding He does, is most of the time the way He fixes things.
I had a particularly devastating disappointment last weekend to add to the times of trouble our family has walked through this year. I told my husband that after all we’ve walked through this year, somehow, deep inside me I still see a flicker of hope. I just feel so held by my Papa. The closer I began looking at the flicker, the more I realized that it was a sound.
It’s the sound of His heart beating. The flicker of hope I thought belonged to me, was really my head on His chest, listening to the sound of His heart beating. The hope I have isn’t even mine, I need Him for it. And His heartbeat sounds like hope.
When I turn and hide myself in Him, my daily portion is my Papa’s help. And it looks like being held and listening to the hope beating inside His chest.