As I worshipped along with others on Sunday, we sang “Champion” and Holy Spirit highlighted the word ‘confidence’ for me in the lyrics:
“I am who you say I am
You crown me with confidence
I am seated
In the heavenly place
Undefeated
With the One who has conquered it all”
This made me curious to explore the relationship between trust and confidence. He showed me that in moments where I said I trust God, my level of confidence didn’t always match. After doing a search in the Bible for the word “confidence” I saw that it appears more times than I realized. From Scripture I see that our confidence is not only IN our Father, but also it COMES FROM our Father. The more I meditate on that word, I understand how it is a relational word, a word that connects me to someone or something else.
I’ve seen plenty of social media posts boast, “I am enough.” Friends, with all gentleness I tell you this phrase is incomplete. I understand the intention but no one is truly independent. We do nothing alone, even when our spouse, family and friends fail us, our Father is keeping us together. The fact that you are reading this, means you woke up this morning, blood is pumping through your heart, your fingers scrolled you here and you have the brain capacity to take in information – ALL IS GRACE, a gift from our Father.
Accepting that I am not enough, does not mean that I undervalue myself. Rather, it is a sobering understanding of the fact that I have limits. What I can offer is incomplete but when I think on the truth that the Creator of heaven and earth is my helper it does something to my confidence. When I think about the men and women in the Bible that faced impossibilities – Sarah, Joshua, Naomi, Esther, Peter, Jairus – I hear an “I got next!” in my spirit. (That’s what we would say as kids, when something good was coming around.) When I think about the women of The Garden that have waited, and cried, and suffered but God…It may not look like how they prayed for, but God…When I think about all the money, time and resources that left their hands, but God…
There is a “but God…” in your story! There are too many children that are being loved on at this very moment, dirtying diapers and staring into our eyes, for us to ignore the evidence. Your confidence may be shattered right now. I would ask that you look at the evidence of both people in the Bible and those in your community who have a testimony. The psalms are filled with the pouring out of emotions and also the return of attention to the faithfulness of our God. His timing is everything. I’m waiting for a breakthrough in my own family. When I think about how the Father came through for others like me, I remember that I get to lean on His help. From this little spot in my valley I get to tell myself “I got next!” In this season, ask the Father to breathe fresh life on your confidence in Him, then expect Him to.
-Blanca G.