Our family has had two major disappointments in the last three months. God had been telling us about a baby that was going to be joining our family since back in January. He had given us a name, and we felt strongly we were to prepare for this baby in faith. We had showers, made a nursery, and waited.
So in May, when we were contacted by an expectant mom to adopt her baby, we weren’t that surprised. We were, however, completely shocked and heartbroken when the adoption didn’t work out. Only a few weeks later, we were contacted by yet another expectant mom. We developed a quick but deep friendship and began walking with her through her pregnancy.
Everything about this situation felt like God was redeeming the last. We were excited to be joined through adoption with this sweet, expectant mama, and so honored she chose us to be her girl’s parents. She invited us into her beautiful story.
And then she delivered the baby, and the baby died.
What was supposed to be a redemption story to us all, was now a loss that none of us imagined. Her mama and my husband and I celebrated her sweet life only a few weeks ago. It wasn’t supposed to be this way.
On the morning of Nova Joy’s Memorial service, God gave me Psalm 33. And it has been a chapter I find myself sitting in. The one phrase I cannot get away from is “His wrap around presence with strengthen us.” There’s so many beautiful things about this verse. The part where Jesus alone is our radiant hope. And that we can trust in Him with all of our hearts because a few verses above this one says “He is true to His promises, His word can be trusted, and everything He does is reliable and right.”
But the part that I’ve been clinging to is His wrap around presence.
He is the with me God. Right where I am. Weak. Strong. On the mountaintop. In the valley. Full of joy. Full of sorrow. Completely together. An absolute mess. He is with me.
And it’s His Presence, His “with me-ness” that is actually my strength.
At the end of the day, it’s His Presence that is our reward. His presence is what we so long for because in His Presence we find every single thing we need.
If you’re in need of strength today, friend, let His wrap around presence, wrap you up like the most cozy, warm blanket.